Troian Bellisario has opened up about her complicated relationship with breastfeeding.
The 33-year-old actress – who welcomed a daughter with husband Patrick J. Adams 10 months ago – has admitted that she hasn’t always found breastfeeding easy and says that it has complicated her relationship with food.
Sharing a picture of herself pumping breast milk, she wrote on Instagram: "#worldbreastfeedingweek I would never have thought something so simple would be so complicated. My milk came in immediately (so lucky!) my daughter has always eaten well (little bit of reflux but all good) and breastfeeding her was never painful or frustrating (SO RARE) but the mastitis, waking up in the middle of the night to pump, pulling off on the freeway to pump, or hiding in dark corners of houses while pumping or else I can’t sleep it’s SO PAINFUL (I’ve included the most glamorous I’ve ever looked while feeling like an effing cow) having to be conscious of everything I put or do not put in my body (it’s been almost two years if you count pregnancy) and that means alcohol, medication, even melatonin! I can’t even join in all of this cool CBD stuff that’s happening.
"But… no matter how much I HATE pumping or how complicated MY relationship with food is, it has been a joy, an honor and a no brainer to feed my daughter this way. My body has made it easy for us and i have loved every moment i get to spend this kind of time with her. Not every mother gets that. I don’t know if I will have it for much longer, but I will always take care of her and do what is best for us. (Once again f*ck pumping. Love you forever babay girl) (sic)."
Troian previously admitted her past struggle with an eating disorder made her "worried" about raising a daughter, because she didn’t think she would be able to teach her tot how to love her body the way it is.
She said: "I had always the expectation, for some reason, maybe it’s because I was surrounded by brothers growing up, that I was going to have a boy. Of course I was worried.
"I was thinking about my relationship with my mother, I was thinking about, honestly, my history with my eating disorder, this is horrifying. My imaginings of a girl are just so, ‘You’re gonna hate me.’"
But the actress says her "wonderful group" of female friends and family have been able to support her through the process, and she now feels able to discuss her issues with her own mother, which she wasn’t able to in the past.
Troian said: "I had a really wonderful group of women around me, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more and more better friends with women. It’s just nice to be able to see my mother give love to her in a way that’s not burdened with our 33 years of experience."