Russell Brand finds it hard to "let go" of what other people think of him.
The 43-year-old comedian and actor – who has two-year-old Mabel and six-month-old Peggy with his wife Laura Gallacher – has had a turbulent past with addiction, and although those days are behind him, he says he still struggles to move past the preconceptions that some people still have of him.
He said: "I don’t know which of my addictions caused the most damage to other people. It’s difficult to quantify. But I tell you what is still hard. And perhaps it’s because it’s still very new. But letting go of what other people think of you, just to think you exist independently of other people’s thoughts, that’s difficult. Especially with fame and all that, and people caring about you and writing about you. When you’re famous, you’re living in someone else’s mind and perception."
Russell admits he’s always struggled with fame and would often feel "nervous and sick" before hosting large events, and says he was "surprised" when that feeling didn’t go away the more famous he got.
He added: "I remember thinking, it’s weird, like I’m hosting these big events and stuff, and what am I going to tell people when they ask what it was like? The only thing I’m going to be able to honestly report is that I was nervous and felt sick, and I didn’t really like it.
"[I didn’t know it was wrong] because I’d never felt right. I didn’t have a good understanding of what peace of mind and serenity were. I was just surprised that it didn’t feel better to be that famous. But fame seemed so important, and everyone else was telling me it was important, and so I think, perhaps, that for me that was something I only recognised retrospectively. Because it’s very seductive."
And Russell thinks it was only thanks to his 2011 movie ‘Arthur’ barely making a profit that he managed to snap himself out of the Hollywood lifestyle.
Speaking to the Sunday Times newspaper, he said: "So I suppose certain things not going the way I would have had them go has actually been quite opportune. Because the more my attention gravitates to the things that are quite ordinary and real and away from all that, the happier and more content and serene I am."