Thursday, December 26, 2024

Guy Berryman rubbishes Chris Martin’s claim Coldplay will stop making albums

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Roger Mathews’ ‘shock therapy’

Roger Mathews claims he’s having electroshock therapy to be a "better husband" to Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley.
The 43-year-old businessman has made no secret of the fact he’s upset the ‘Jersey Shore’ star filed for divorce last month and now he’s joked he’s had a device called the "Dirtbag 9000" implanted in his back so the brunette beauty can "shock" him every time he does anything wrong.
He wrote on Instagram: "Technology is an amazing thing. Science has advanced to the point my where they make shock therapy specifically designed for men to become better husbands. I had this device installed with shock leads that go directly into my spine and my wife holds the controller and settings. It’s called the "Dirtbag 9000" ."
Roger went on to explain the alleged functions of the device, which he shared a picture of but is actually to stimulate the spinal chord.
He wrote: "It has voice recognition so if you question your wife it will light you up like a f***ing Christmas tree. It has four settings. 1. You’re a **** 2. I should have stayed with my ex 3. I hope you die a slow painful death 4. Just for fun. (Which is the most powerful setting and is like being shot by a police taser)
"Humor has always been my way through life. Praying for a better tomorrow. (sic)"
He signed off the post by telling his estranged wife he loves her.
Roger – who has children Meilani, four, and two-year-old Greyson with Jenni – also poked fun at himself in his new Instagram biography.
It now reads: "Good father.Horrible husband.Worst lover ever.10foot tall and bulletproof.Figuring life out.(sic)"
The businessman vowed last week to "win back" his wife.
He said: "I’m not done fighting. I am going to win my wife back.
"I’m going to win her affection back, I am going to win her love back. I have no intentions on being a single dad. We’re in counseling so there is hope. It ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings."

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