Kym Marsh has found life "really traumatic" since her friend David Gest died.
The ‘Coronation Street’ actress was left devastated when the concert producer passed away suddenly at the age of 62 last month and she has had a hard time dealing with her grief.
Writing in her weekly OK! magazine column, she said: "To be honest, since he died it’s been a really traumatic time as he was such a dear friend of mine
"When someone dies, you don’t necessarily deal with it straight away, it takes time to sink in that you’ll never see that person you loved ever again."
A funeral for David – who affectionately described Kym as his "little sister" – was held at Golders Green crematorium in north London last week and the 39-year-old star was honoured to be asked to make a speech at the service.
Though it was a "nerve-wracking" prospect, Kym found it easy to speak about how much she loved her friend and was particularly thankful to have her partner Matt Baker and oldest children David and Emilie by her side at the funeral.
She added: "It was a nerve-wracking prospect but it was also an honour to be asked. It actually wasn’t a hard speech to write. I just spoke from the heart about how much David meant to me, how much I loved him and what a great friend he was.
"I was filled with emotion during my speech but I Did my best to try and hold it together and got through it OK.
"While the day was a celebration of David’s life – which I knew I what he’d want it to be – it was a sad day for us all and I shed a few tears during the day.
"Luckily, Matt David and Emilie were with me, which was lovely."
A host stars turned out to say goodbye to David – who was best known for his marriage to Liza Minnelli, life-long friendship with Michael Jackson and hilarious reality TV show appearances -including Kerry Katona, Cleo Rocos, Denise Welch, Darren Day and Stephanie Davis and her boyfriend Jeremy McConnell among others.