Monday, November 25, 2024

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Janet Street-Porter poops again after days of poo problems

Janet Street-Porter is back to being Janet Street-Pooper after she finally managed to defecate over the weekend – following days of suffering from constipation.
The relived ‘Loose Women’ panellist announced live on air today (31.07.18) that she has plopped as a result of popping one laxative too many, after previously being in agony as a result of taking painkillers following her recent knee replacement operation.
Revealing her rectum routine is now back on track, the jovial journalist said: "I can now exclusively reveal that there has been movement."
The 71-year-old presenter’s remarks were met with loud cheers from the ‘Loose Women’ studio audience and her fellow panellists, and Janet revealed "jiggling about" at a rock concert and popping four stool-loosening pills had allowed her faeces to flow once again.
When asked how long she had gone without a poop, she replied: "Well … put it this way, even a small piece of bread was living in my upper body.
"On the night in question, I thought, ‘I’m going out, I can’t cope with this.’
"So I had a very large glass of wine and went out to a rock concert. I jiggled about a bit in my seat, stood up and jiggled about a bit some more.
"I came home and took some more laxatives, probably a mistake … I was a bit doolally."
However, Janet popped so many of the poop pills that she had to stay near her home toilet the following day.
She added: "I think I took four laxatives in all and then the next morning I couldn’t leave the house."
Janet’s joy comes a whole week after she revealed on the panel last Tuesday (24.07.18) that she hadn’t been able to poo since going under the knife.
And on the ‘Loose Women’ episode that aired on Wednesday (25.07.18), she once again reminded viewers about her distinct lack of dumping.
Whilst carrying out a mock weather report about the heatwave in Britain, she said: "If you want an explanation as to why it is so hot, hot, hot, it’s because the hot weather is being caused by the global jet stream being very weak and it’s causing the weather to stay still – a bit like my constipation! After talking about it yesterday I’ve had about 538 suggestions as to what to do with my bowels and it’s not working, yet."
At the time, Janet had only been able to plop three times in 11 days since undergoing knee replacement surgery.

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