Charli XCX says fame hasn’t brought her "happiness".
The 27-year-old singer was thrust into the spotlight when she featured on Iggy Azalea’s single ‘Fancy’ in 2014, and has said that whilst the opportunity allowed her to experience "real pop star whirlwind s**t", she wouldn’t say it brought her "creative fulfilment".
She said: "[‘Fancy’ was] real pop star whirlwind s-t. That allowed me to see the world and travel and go on crazy TV shows. That was amazing. It’s shaped who I am as an artist. But did it bring me happiness and creative fulfilment? No."
Charli insists there is a "difficult that surrounds" being creative, and says she often feels pressure to be "100 percent on [her] game all the time".
She added: "People don’t often talk about the kind of difficulty that surrounds being a creative person … I’m not happy all the time. I’m not stable all the time, and I don’t want to pretend that I am. I want people who follow me and care about my music to know that I don’t feel 100 percent on my game all the time, and it’s OK."
And the ‘Boys’ hitmaker is now making sure she makes career decisions that let her do her own "thing", rather than the ones that guarantee her "commercial success".
She said: "Do I want fame? Do I want commercial success? Or do I want to do my thing, no games, and make music that I care about? And more and more, I’m making decisions for the latter."
Charli wants to explore her mental health through her music, and said putting her "depression" and "insecurities" into song has been "therapeutic".
The ‘Flash Pose’ singer told Spin magazine’s September 2019 digital issue: "[I go into] my thoughts and feelings about my mental state and what life is supposed to be as an artist, my depression, and my insecurities. I’m being more honest than ever before. It’s been very therapeutic."