Carol Vorderman has not yet opened the private letter her mum wrote for her to read after her death.
The 56-year-old TV host is still coming to terms with losing her beloved mum Jean, who passed away earlier this month aged 88 following a battle with cancer, and she doesn’t think she’ll truly accept her parent has gone until she reads the note.
In an interview with the Daily Mirror newspaper, Carol said: "It hasn’t hit home yet. At the moment I’m just telling myself she’s gone on holiday. But she’s left me a letter which she wrote for me to read after her death, which I haven’t read yet.
"It’s for me to read in private – and when I do, that will be when the floodgates open."
Carol admitted earlier this week that she is "re-engaging with life" since her mother’s passing, but is still doing things out of habit.
She explained: "I was about to text her this morning and then I thought: ‘I can’t’. Of course my mum was at a lot of the Pride of Britain Awards and involved in my preparations at home for every single one of them because she lived with us. She worked for me since I was 25."
But while Carol was devastated by her mother’s passing, she is thankful she told her mum everything she needed to before she died.
The mathematician explained: "I miss her terribly. There was nothing left unsaid or undone as she’d say, ‘It’s not a tragedy. I’m nearly 89 and had a great life’."
Carol and her siblings cared for Jean at her home in Bristol, after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer in March this year.
Jean’s illness meant Carol postponed her long-held ambition of jetting around the globe in her twin-engine propeller plane named Mildred.
Carol – who obtained her licence to fly in 2014 – was planning to capture her journey through Europe, Asia, across the Pacific Ocean, the US and back to the UK on camera and turn it into a documentary called ‘Carol’s Incredible Solo Flight Around The World’.